Re: The amusing thread

by **SavageNFS** Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:00 pm

lol...got love those blondes!

by **grumpydaddy** Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:21 pm

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen.

I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman.

by **4hams** Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:26 pm

by **bob2701** Sat Apr 16, 2011 8:27 am

There is so much ammunition. smile

:

Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'

by **SavageNFS** Sat Apr 16, 2011 8:37 am

Holy...that was funny :laugh:

by **4hams** Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:32 am

:laugh:

by **grumpydaddy** Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:31 am

For most of you this will cause big grins....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5bLSuZRZG0

by **4hams** Tue Apr 26, 2011 7:03 am

by **bob2701** Tue Apr 26, 2011 7:44 am

LMFAO

by **SavageNFS** Tue Apr 26, 2011 7:50 am

rofl...

by **bob2701** Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:50 am

A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"

The Master Chief answered, "Why yes sir. I couldn't help but notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes sir, you seem to be short one ear."

The Admiral threw him out also.

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, sir. You wear contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear."

by **SavageNFS** Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:57 am

ROFLMAO :laugh:

by **smduff** Tue Apr 26, 2011 11:52 am

LMFAO good one Bob

by **Steve** Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:23 pm

:laugh: :HAHA:

by **grumpydaddy** Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:34 pm

Yep, up to the usual standard :laugh:

by **4hams** Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:40 pm

:laugh:

by **grumpydaddy** Wed Apr 27, 2011 11:42 am

To my fellow "Old Dogs:" (and young!!!)

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the panther with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!'

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs.... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Baloney and brilliance only come with age and experience.

Of course, I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more 'youthfully challenged'..

You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?

by **smduff** Wed Apr 27, 2011 11:42 am

LOL good one Mike.

by **Steve** Wed Apr 27, 2011 12:02 pm

Grumpy!

by **SavageNFS** Wed Apr 27, 2011 12:15 pm

Priceless!!!

by **4hams** Wed Apr 27, 2011 2:16 pm

by **smduff** Wed Apr 27, 2011 5:10 pm

Very funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8Ka3N_3B8o&feature=player_embedded

by **bob2701** Thu Apr 28, 2011 5:08 pm

LMAO... The funny part is the comments!!

by **4hams** Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:10 pm

Lmao! Yes the comments make it! :laugh:

by **bob2701** Sun May 01, 2011 8:34 am

Lion Tamer

A circus owner runs an ad . For a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his early seventies and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it.
This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history..

Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try it out first?

The girl says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then licks her tight little butt cheeks and then rolls her over and licks her crotch until she has the orgasm of her life.

Then the lion rests his head at her feet, and falls asleep !

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies,

"No problem, just get that lion out of there."

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