The amusing thread

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The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:31 am

Not worth a new topic?.....Add it here....

This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER



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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:32 am

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala!
What are you doing?'


The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'


So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.





The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,


'Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

'My God, dude...
How much water did you drink!?'
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by 4hams on Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:50 am

Lmao that is a good one! smile
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by smduff on Sat Jul 17, 2010 11:21 am

LOl women hitler how true is that.
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by McstylisT on Sun Jul 18, 2010 1:50 pm

:HAHA: :Thankyou: :HAHA:

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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:22 pm

A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea."
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by 4hams on Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:33 pm

LMAO!
Thats funny!!! smile
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by smduff on Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:26 pm

LOL sick.
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:32 pm

As golf seems popular here....


A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball, don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."

The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a very unique looking broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man sitting on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that," the husband replied.

"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."

"OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem, it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife.

"I would like a house in every country of the world," she said.

"Consider it done." the genie replied.

"And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said.

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. I wish to sleep with your wife."

The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care."

The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband anyway?"

"35," she replied.

"And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing."
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by smduff on Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:46 pm

LMAO good one
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by 4hams on Mon Aug 02, 2010 6:12 pm

That was good!
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:02 pm

I've been wondering how music is chosen for advertising campaigns

Feel free to add your own thoughts on this ....


How about the Billy Ocean track "love really hurts without you" for Vaseline?
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by smduff on Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:46 pm

Is this from an experience we don't want to know about? LMFAO
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Thu Aug 12, 2010 4:11 pm

Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by bob2701 on Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:20 pm

Good one.
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by 4hams on Fri Aug 13, 2010 6:23 am

LOL!
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Wal-Mart Cake "You can't fix stupid"

Post by 4hams on Sat Aug 14, 2010 3:30 pm

Wal-Mart Cake

make sure you read the story under the picture.

Keep in mind this 'actually really' did happen.

This cake is for someone who was moving from an insurance claims office



Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I hep you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee: 'What you want on da cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

STOP LAUGHING!



You can't fix stupid.
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Sat Aug 14, 2010 3:47 pm

stunning..... and it got past the supervisor too...LoL
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by 4hams on Sat Aug 14, 2010 4:00 pm

Oh to be a WALMART Stupervisor. LOL
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by bob2701 on Sun Aug 15, 2010 10:18 am

grumpydaddy wrote:stunning..... and it got past the supervisor too...LoL

The supervisor is the one who decorated the cake. :laugh:
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Sat Aug 28, 2010 2:02 pm

Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

************ ********* *****

In a Podiatrist's office:

'Time wounds all heels.'

************ ********* *****

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

************ ********* *****

On a Plumber's truck:

'We repair what your husband fixed.'

************ ********* *****

On another Plumber's truck:

'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'

************ ********* *****

On a Church's Bill board:

'7 days without God makes one weak.'

************ ********* *****

At a Tire Store

'Invite us to your next blowout.'

************ ********* *****

On an Electrician' s truck:

'Let us remove your shorts.'

************ ********* *****

In a Non-smoking Area:

'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

************ ********* *****

On a Maternity Room door:

'Push. Push. Push..'

************ ********* *****

At an Optometrist' s Office:

'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

************ ********* *****

On a Taxidermist' s window:

'We really know our stuff.'

************ ********* *****

On a Fence:

'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

************ ********* *****

At a Car Dealership:

'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

************ ********* *****

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:

'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

************ ********* *****

In a Vets waiting room:

'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

************ ********* *****

In a Restaurant window:

'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'

************ ********* *****

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

************ ********* *****

And don't forget the sign at a

RADIATOR SHOP:

'Best place in town to take a leak.'

************ ********* *







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Re: The amusing thread

Post by bob2701 on Sat Aug 28, 2010 2:49 pm

Some really good one's.
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:42 pm

I just read through a bunch of yours....similarly amused! a couple of peaches
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Re: The amusing thread

Post by grumpydaddy on Mon Aug 30, 2010 6:16 am

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Re: The amusing thread

Post by bob2701 on Mon Aug 30, 2010 6:53 am

LMAO. :HAHA:
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Re: The amusing thread

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