Re: The amusing thread

by **grumpydaddy** Sun Jul 03, 2011 9:43 am

Truly, some entries for a dictionary.

Nice one bob.

by **rrplay** Mon Jul 04, 2011 4:40 am

good one's Bob !
keep 'em coming guys

by **smduff** Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:18 am

LOL you guys kill me.

by **Steve** Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:21 am

Excellent Bob. thanks

by **grumpydaddy** Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:13 pm

some repetition but...

A website was set up to find the world's funniest joke. It varied according to region. Apparently the Brits like cruel jokes, their favourite was:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman goes to the back of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "That driver just insulted me!" The mans says: "You go right back and tell him off. Go ahead. I'll hold the monkey."

The Yanks go in for superiority. Their favourite:

Texan: "Where are you from?"

Harvard graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions."

Texan: "OK, where are you from, jackass?"

The French, Danes and Belgians prefer the surreal:

An Alsatian went into a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." the clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another "Woof" for the same price." The dog replied, "but that would make no sense at all."

Surprisingly (for me), the overall winner was:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Perhaps all this proves is that we shouldn't analyse jokes. Just laugh at the ones that tickle your fancy.

by **SavageNFS** Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:30 pm

LMAO :laugh:

by **Steve** Fri Jul 08, 2011 3:51 pm

Grumpy rolls on. LMAO :laugh:

by **grumpydaddy** Sat Jul 09, 2011 4:29 am

In case anyone missed this

The amusing thread - Page 17 Koma-comic-strip-only-abstinence-is-percent-effective

by **smduff** Sat Jul 09, 2011 9:49 am

LMAO

by **rrplay** Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:01 am

good one LOL

by **grumpydaddy** Sat Jul 16, 2011 8:46 am

Two Trees and a Woodpecker

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best little piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.'

.........Now wipe that smile off your face.

by **Steve** Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:11 am

That was "GREAT" Grumpy!! :laugh: :HAHA: ROTFLMAO

by **smduff** Sat Jul 16, 2011 11:00 am

LOL good one Mike.

by **rrplay** Sat Jul 16, 2011 11:30 am

yep that's a good one ! smile

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by **SavageNFS** Sat Jul 16, 2011 3:13 pm

Very funny indeed!

by **bob2701** Sat Jul 16, 2011 3:42 pm

LMAO... As Larry the Cable Guy says, "Now thats Funny". Thanks Mike. :yourock:

by **4hams** Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:56 am

by **bob2701** Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:35 pm

IRISH BIRTH CONTROL

Mrs. Donovan was walking down
O'Connell Street in Dublin when
she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin'
to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan
and didn't I marry ye and yer
hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there
any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now,
I'm going to Rome next week
and I'll light a fertility candle for ye
and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father...'
They then parted ways..

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, 'Well now,
Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?'
She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'
The Father asked, 'And tell me ,
have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father!
Two sets of twins and six singles,
ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful!
How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome
to blow out the fookin' candle.'

by **4hams** Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:30 am

by **SavageNFS** Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:22 am

lol...that was a good one!

by **Steve** Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:24 am

:laugh:

Bob

by **grumpydaddy** Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:33 pm

Good one bob.... thinking

She should use an Irish contraceptive...

Put a penny in his shoe.

by **rrplay** Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:43 am

For some of the weekend DIY warriors out there

by **4hams** Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:29 am

A classic show indeed!

by **rrplay** Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:38 pm

4hams wrote:A classic show indeed!

yep ! agreed one can easily spend a bit of 'quailty chill time' watching a bunch of those classics ! smile

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