The amusing thread
+5
bob2701
McstylisT
smduff
4hams
grumpydaddy
9 posters
https://mcstylists-overclock.forumotion.com :: Welcome & Hello :: The Chat Lounge :: Jokes & Funny Stuff
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The amusing thread
Not worth a new topic?.....Add it here....
This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
grumpydaddy- Moderators
- Posts : 328
Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint
when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala!
What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'
So the koala looked down at him and said,
'My God, dude...
How much water did you drink!?'
when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala!
What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'
So the koala looked down at him and said,
'My God, dude...
How much water did you drink!?'
grumpydaddy- Moderators
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Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
Lmao that is a good one!
4hams- Old Father Time
- Posts : 2708
Join date : 2010-02-06
Location : Ontario, Canada
Re: The amusing thread
LOl women hitler how true is that.
smduff- Admin
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Age : 50
Location : Canukland
Re: The amusing thread
A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea."
grumpydaddy- Moderators
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Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
LMAO!
Thats funny!!!
Thats funny!!!
4hams- Old Father Time
- Posts : 2708
Join date : 2010-02-06
Location : Ontario, Canada
Re: The amusing thread
LOL sick.
smduff- Admin
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Join date : 2010-02-07
Age : 50
Location : Canukland
Re: The amusing thread
As golf seems popular here....
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball, don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a very unique looking broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man sitting on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that," the husband replied.
"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."
"OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem, it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife.
"I would like a house in every country of the world," she said.
"Consider it done." the genie replied.
"And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. I wish to sleep with your wife."
The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care."
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband anyway?"
"35," she replied.
"And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing."
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball, don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a very unique looking broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man sitting on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that," the husband replied.
"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."
"OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem, it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife.
"I would like a house in every country of the world," she said.
"Consider it done." the genie replied.
"And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. I wish to sleep with your wife."
The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care."
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband anyway?"
"35," she replied.
"And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing."
grumpydaddy- Moderators
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Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
LMAO good one
smduff- Admin
- Posts : 1592
Join date : 2010-02-07
Age : 50
Location : Canukland
Re: The amusing thread
That was good!
4hams- Old Father Time
- Posts : 2708
Join date : 2010-02-06
Location : Ontario, Canada
Re: The amusing thread
I've been wondering how music is chosen for advertising campaigns
Feel free to add your own thoughts on this ....
How about the Billy Ocean track "love really hurts without you" for Vaseline?
Feel free to add your own thoughts on this ....
How about the Billy Ocean track "love really hurts without you" for Vaseline?
grumpydaddy- Moderators
- Posts : 328
Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
Is this from an experience we don't want to know about? LMFAO
smduff- Admin
- Posts : 1592
Join date : 2010-02-07
Age : 50
Location : Canukland
Re: The amusing thread
Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
grumpydaddy- Moderators
- Posts : 328
Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
Good one.
bob2701- Respected Forum Idividuals
- Posts : 1474
Join date : 2010-03-04
Age : 82
Location : Jersey Shore
4hams- Old Father Time
- Posts : 2708
Join date : 2010-02-06
Location : Ontario, Canada
Wal-Mart Cake "You can't fix stupid"
Wal-Mart Cake
make sure you read the story under the picture.
Keep in mind this 'actually really' did happen.
This cake is for someone who was moving from an insurance claims office
Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:
Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I hep you?'
Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'
Walmart Employee: 'What you want on da cake?'
Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.
STOP LAUGHING!
You can't fix stupid.
make sure you read the story under the picture.
Keep in mind this 'actually really' did happen.
This cake is for someone who was moving from an insurance claims office
Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:
Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I hep you?'
Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'
Walmart Employee: 'What you want on da cake?'
Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.
STOP LAUGHING!
You can't fix stupid.
4hams- Old Father Time
- Posts : 2708
Join date : 2010-02-06
Location : Ontario, Canada
Re: The amusing thread
stunning..... and it got past the supervisor too...LoL
grumpydaddy- Moderators
- Posts : 328
Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
Oh to be a WALMART Stupervisor. LOL
4hams- Old Father Time
- Posts : 2708
Join date : 2010-02-06
Location : Ontario, Canada
Re: The amusing thread
grumpydaddy wrote:stunning..... and it got past the supervisor too...LoL
The supervisor is the one who decorated the cake. :laugh:
bob2701- Respected Forum Idividuals
- Posts : 1474
Join date : 2010-03-04
Age : 82
Location : Jersey Shore
Re: The amusing thread
Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
************ ********* *****
In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
************ ********* *****
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
************ ********* *****
On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
************ ********* *****
On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'
************ ********* *****
On a Church's Bill board:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
************ ********* *****
At a Tire Store
'Invite us to your next blowout.'
************ ********* *****
On an Electrician' s truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
************ ********* *****
In a Non-smoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
************ ********* *****
On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push..'
************ ********* *****
At an Optometrist' s Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
************ ********* *****
On a Taxidermist' s window:
'We really know our stuff.'
************ ********* *****
On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
************ ********* *****
At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
************ ********* *****
Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
************ ********* *****
In a Vets waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
************ ********* *****
In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'
************ ********* *****
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
************ ********* *****
And don't forget the sign at a
RADIATOR SHOP:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'
************ ********* *
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
************ ********* *****
In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
************ ********* *****
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
************ ********* *****
On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
************ ********* *****
On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'
************ ********* *****
On a Church's Bill board:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'
************ ********* *****
At a Tire Store
'Invite us to your next blowout.'
************ ********* *****
On an Electrician' s truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'
************ ********* *****
In a Non-smoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
************ ********* *****
On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push..'
************ ********* *****
At an Optometrist' s Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
************ ********* *****
On a Taxidermist' s window:
'We really know our stuff.'
************ ********* *****
On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
************ ********* *****
At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'
************ ********* *****
Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'
************ ********* *****
In a Vets waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
************ ********* *****
In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'
************ ********* *****
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
************ ********* *****
And don't forget the sign at a
RADIATOR SHOP:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'
************ ********* *
grumpydaddy- Moderators
- Posts : 328
Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
Some really good one's.
bob2701- Respected Forum Idividuals
- Posts : 1474
Join date : 2010-03-04
Age : 82
Location : Jersey Shore
Re: The amusing thread
I just read through a bunch of yours....similarly amused! a couple of peaches
grumpydaddy- Moderators
- Posts : 328
Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
grumpydaddy- Moderators
- Posts : 328
Join date : 2010-07-16
Location : UK
Re: The amusing thread
LMAO. :HAHA:
bob2701- Respected Forum Idividuals
- Posts : 1474
Join date : 2010-03-04
Age : 82
Location : Jersey Shore
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